Some marriage counseling sessions are held individually and some are held as couples. In general, in these meetings, the consultant tries to find possible problems by recognizing the communication patterns of both parties and provides the necessary training. In these meetings, each of the parties express their views on the ideal marriage and learn the skills needed for it. In these meetings, the following important topics are discussed:
1. Intimacy
Can you speak without fear of judgment? Do you share culture, behaviors, tastes, etc.?
2. Physical charm
If one of the parties does not like the appearance and physical characteristics of the other party and decides to get married due to other factors, this relationship will probably not end well.
3. Commitment, responsibility and loyalty
In marriage counseling, we talk about what definition of commitment and responsibility each of the two parties have and what are the criteria of loyalty in their opinion.
4. Personality Types
In pre-marriage counseling, the personality type of the parties is checked. One person may be fun-loving and the other prefers solitude. In other words, one is considered introverted and the other is extroverted. One is a risk taker and the other is conservative. To find out more, tests such as the Myers Briggs personality test, the 5-factor personality test, etc. are usually used.
5. Identify the basic roles and needs of the two sides before marriage
According to William Glasser, every human has several basic needs, of course, the amount of each of them is different for each person. These needs include the need for survival, power, love, belonging, freedom, fun and pleasure. Also, defining the roles you expect from yourself and your partner in marriage is very important.
6. Look at the two sides on emotional and emotional issues
Sharing issues such as what love is like from each party's point of view, what is the reason for marriage and what are their expectations of life changes after marriage, is one of the important situations in marriage counseling.
In this Your sessions also talk about your deepest dreams. Also, you will talk about what activities you enjoy doing with your partner.
7. Understanding the Ethics, Views and Beliefs of the two sides
Naturally, everyone gets married with their own mental assumptions; But one should not expect the other party to look at the issues in the same way. For example, some premarital counseling questions are how important is the other party's past, what do you do if the relationship is in trouble, and what kind of jokes do you like or get annoyed by.
These questions will help you. To know the views and beliefs of your other party on various issues. Also, one of the important topics of counseling sessions before marriage is how to deal with anger in the parties; If you have an inappropriate model, you will be taught the necessary skills.
8. Questions related to Joint Life
In marriage counseling, you have the opportunity to talk about issues such as where you live, the type of relationship with each party's family, the type of relationship with friends or colleagues, having or not having children, the number of children, financial issues, etc.
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9. Checking the Family History of both sides
Marriage, especially in our culture, is not only between two people but also between two families; Therefore, it is very important to talk about the type of relationship a person has with his parents. The following premarital counseling questions are commonly asked to determine this:
- رفتار پدر و مادر در مقابل خطاهای فرزند چطور بوده است؟
- معیار فرزند خوب در خانواده فرد چه بوده است؟
- میزان صمیمیت اعضای خانواده چقدر است؟
- فرد در چه زمینههایی با خانواده اختلاف دارد؟
- میزان اهمیت مسائل اقتصادی در خانواده چقدر است؟
- چه کسی در خانواده برای تصمیمات مهم حرف آخر را میزند؟
- خانواده به چه خصوصیات خوبی معروف است؟
- چه رفتاری از سیستم خانواده خود را قبول ندارید؟
- کدام رفتار را در خانواده تحسین میکنید؟
10. Investigating Religious Views
Another issue that is discussed in marriage counseling sessions is the religious views of couples. Sharing religious beliefs, values, and perspectives with your partner helps foster understanding and respect. In this case, the following premarital counseling questions may be asked:
- فکر میکنید چقدر از نظر باورهای مذهبی شباهت دارید؟
- چقدر حاضر هستید برای عقاید متفاوت هم احترام قایل شوید؟
- در صورت تفاوت عقاید چقدر ممکن است مخالفت کنید یا طرف مقابل خود را ترغیب کنید که مانند شما رفتار کند؟
- نظرتان در مورد نحوه پوشش طرف مقابل چیست؟
